tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
