No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
