IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Randomize
