Are we in a gay sports bar?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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