Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize