In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize