Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just cut my nipple shaving
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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