I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
