her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
