guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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