Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
