i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
