OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
