everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
