i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
