chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
my shit smells like andre
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
