atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
