I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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