you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
