So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
