my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
