Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
