Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
