Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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