well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
