More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
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