I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
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