I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
this will be a night to untag.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
