he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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