Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
