The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
soo... how was my night?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize