I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
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