yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
