to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
