he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize