This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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