I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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