Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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