What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
