Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
