I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
