THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
