He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
