why didn't you poke me back
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
