i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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