omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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