I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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