i think my mom watched the whole time
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
