So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
