He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
