I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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