I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
