So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
