Where is the hickey?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
