Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
