I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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