Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
