Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
sarcasm needs its own font
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Randomize
