I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
