Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
